We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.
2 Corinthians 4:8-11
Somedays it feels like the devil lives on my shoulder. He whispers in my ear that I am justified in my anger. He tells me it's okay to scream at my kids. I know he is wrong, but man is he good at what he does. No sooner do the words leave my mouth and I am covered in shame. I am a wreck. I continually ask God why he chose us. Yes, we asked for Him to use us, but did He really think we were capable of this? The answer is no. He knows we are not capable at all. We are far too imperfect. I'm convinced this is why He chose us. My friend posted recently about how the birth of her daughter changed her whole family. She talked about how God used her sweet baby to break her and mold her into the woman He wanted her to be: a woman without pride that He could use. And boy is He using her! I promise you that God is using my children to destroy me! I am heartbroken at the end of every day when I look back and see how I was manipulated by the devil, but I don't lose heart. If I couldn't see my shortcomings, the Holy Spirit couldn't help guide me to change them. What happened during the day is wiped away by a grace beyond comprehension. And each new day brings about a fresh start.
Thank God for that!
2 comments:
you aren't the only one who feels like this! thanks foe letting me know that Im not either
yes, our children are huge instruments that God uses in our sanctification. just think how good we would think we were if they were not around to show us all of the sin inside of our hearts. no it is not a fun process, but I praise God for using motherhood to mold us into godly women. praying for you!!
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