This adoption journey has been many things: long, difficult, tiring, emotionally draining, and WONDERFUL! There have been many challenges along the way, but none so great as the challenge to love. Loving my biological children is easy. I know everything there is to know about them. Their habits, good, bad, and otherwise, were developed in our home. They love us back. How do you love somebody who does not love you back? I don't know for sure, but we are learning. Our children are at a point where I would fail to consider them "attached" in any sense of the word. I am not heartbroken by this or even discouraged. Think about their pasts for just a moment and ask yourself if you would want to attach to anyone. Ask yourself if you could be as strong and brave as these two sweet little ones. I don't think I could. Yet, our children find the courage to smile everyday, to make the best of their surroundings (even a 10 hour trans-Atlantic flight, that only gave way to about 10 minutes of Ana crying...for the WHOLE trip!!!!), and to try to love us the only way that they have been taught to: at arms length. Eventually the barriers will come down, and they will love us and we will love them as equally as Trey and Luke. For now, we seek God's love for them, and pray that He will show them His love for us.
6 comments:
Oh my, they are so adorable! Very heart warming to see two more little angels home with thier family.
from Justine:
Your honesty and truth about where you are with God in this adoption process is encouraging and beautiful and I'm blessed to have gotten to spend some time with you. PS - you didn't need me anyway for your plane ride, Awesome! -Justine/Teeny
from Malika:
Roooaaarrrr!
from Crystal:
Aww, I am so glad you are home, and that your plane trip went well. I can't believe, only 10 minutes of crying! I hope we are that lucky. I can't wait to hear more of your story and to see you again and see all the changes in you and your kids.
YAAAAHOOOOOO!!!! I've already said it a gazillion times but one more won't hurt... I'm SO HAPPY for you!!!! Prayers for a smooooth transistion!!
They are both so beautiful! I am so very proud of you !! You stepped out in faith , and rescued 2 littles one (mine included:) who so desperately needed you. GOD will handle the rest. I know , for attachment will come and it will be beautiful :) you have the best open heart. Thank you so much for stepping out :) you have a beautiful family!! xoxoxo
So happy to see these special angels HOME!!! Everything you are feeling is completely normal :) I love your attitude about it all...the grace of God is so amazing! I can't wait to see updates and hear about all the trouble Sasha is getting into :)
WooHoo!! so so happy for you guys :)
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