Last night's dinner debacle left me in tears for my daughter. But after a pep talk from my super-knowledgeable friend, Jen, I woke up with a new game plan and a fresh attitude. I am not giving up on gorging, but I think I was going about it wrong. I was searching out every possible healthy food choice in our house to offer her when she asked for more. I think that is part of what kept her eating: the surprise of what might be coming next. Starting today, if she asks for more she will get whatever we are eating for our meal.
Breakfast brought a few surprises for us. Ana had a big bowl of cheerios with milk, and then when she asked for more I handed her a handful of dry cheerios. I put them on the table in front of her, and her first bite was a full fistfull into her mouth. After that it was one at a time for about 2 minutes. Then she started throwing them on the floor. What? Ana DOES NOT waste food!!! We joke that she is our human garbage disposal. She was still sort of picking at them, but without enthusiasm. And then her bib started falling off. I saw it happening, but I waited to see what she would do. Normally when her bib falls off (yes, it happens frequently. And yes, we need new bibs :) she has a fall-apart fit! She thinks that because she no longer has a bib on, she cannot eat. The same thing happens if she drops her fork. But this morning the bib started slipping, but no tears from Ana. She just grabbed hold of it, pulled it off and set it on the table. I asked if she was all done, she signed it and breakfast was over in a matter of 20 minutes!!!
For snack I let her feed herself yogurt. A huge mess! She probably got 1/2 of it in her mouth while the other half was everywhere else. After that I took her down, because we had playdate guests who were about to arrive.
Lunch was 1 1/2 sandwiches (turkey and cheese) and a bowl of melon. She signed "all done" and got down.
For snack after nap I cut up an apple for her and Sasha, but instead of strapping them into highchairs I just separated the apple into 2 bowls and let them walk around and eat. Ana finished her 1/2 super fast and then started working on Sasha's portion. However, surprise! I asked Ana to share a bite with me and she did.
Dinner was a rice and bean burrito. She ate it all, but at one point she offered her empty fork up to Sasha when he was crying. I think she really thought she was offering him food.
Bedtime snack was a bowl of pretzels, which she dumped on the floor. She was eating them...just off the floor. And then we moved on to a bowl of applesauce and off to bed. I thought she was really getting over the whole being super excited for food thing, but when the applesauce showed up she was unable to curb her enthusiasm. There was a lot of squealing happening for applesauce.
It is still too early to say exactly what kind of difference this will make. I do worry that Ana will have lifelong issues with food, but right now we are focusing on her need for control. As Jen helped me to see in our phone conversation, Ana has never had control over what she ate, how much she ate, or when she ate it. Since she came home we have been very restrictive with her. Because of the way she ate, we worried that she needed to learn portion control and be given healthier foods. She ate differently than all of the rest of us, because we made her. Not that we intended to be mean to her, we just worried about her. Ana is already different. As a parent you never want your child to be excluded, made fun of, or emotionally hurt in any way. I see the beauty in my daughter - inside and out. I just want everyone else to see it too. So from here on out, this will not be about stuffing Ana as full as she can go, but it will be about giving Ana control over her food. Giving her a "say" in the matter of food.
I don't have any of the beautiful pictures you have all come to love to see from this adventure ;) But here are some random pictures.
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| Well hello cutie! Can I have a ride? |
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| Water babies |
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| Yes, this is a food picture. This is excitement for yogurt. |
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| Trey playing with Malika. I think she is his new best friend. They are so cute together! |
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| Luke...always in style! |
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| Anyone have a power tool I can borrow? |
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| Luke chillin' in a pint-size chair. |
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| This is what Ana does when she gets stressed out or overwhelmed |
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| Our new friend, Athena. Isn't she gorgeous? |
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| Ana and Luke...look close. That's not our Ana! We now have a friend named Ana too!!! |
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| This is how I found Sasha after nap today. Cute, huh? |
4 comments:
we are going on about 6 months of having serious issue with pearl and food. hers is more of a refusal to eat thought. it is her favorite way to get attention and try to control her parents instead of obeying. kids use what they have to show their emotions and eating is a big one. glad you are starting to get to the heart of the issue. we think pearl's is attention seeking but all of our attempts to ignore our give lots of positive attention when she does eat seem to only help for a day or two before she is back to her old ways. sure can wear on a mommy when you have to face it 3 times a day every day.
Thank you for sharing that. I have a feeling we will have problems with Carlene when we get her home. So this will be a good resource to come back to.
Wow, that is great that you are figuring things out. Maybe that would help with Kaylee too, I can see how it is good to let them have control. The confusing thing is, I don't let the other kids have control though, if I did they would eat nothing but junk food. So, I guess I can't wait to see how this works out for you.
I love the picture of Malika and Trey. I wish y'all lived closer, so he could come to her birthday, I'm sure she would love it.
Hang in there Lindsey!! Praying for things to smooth out for you soon. :)
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