Staycation

We opted for a staycation this summer. We decided to check into a hotel in downtown Portland and explore our own city for a weekend. Here are some pictures from the trip:

We rode the train from the suburbs to the city

Checking out the view

Preparing to enjoy a snack from St. Cupcake Galore...one of our favorite downtown institutions

Mmmmmmm cupcakes :)

Trains, buses, and streetcars oh my!  A little boy's dream come true.

Waiting for the streetcar

They don't know how to play chess, so they made a house instead :)

Checking out the river front

And now I am all caught up with blogging. Hip hip hooray! :)

Happy 5th Birthday, Alex!

As I look at my little blond-haired, blue-eyed boy I cannot believe he is 5! It hurts to think about the nearly 4 years of his life we missed, but we are joyful that he is here now and that we are here to celebrate this milestone with him. The last year has been an incredible whirlwind, and this little boy has made some tremendous progress.

To describe Alex I would tell you that he is a genius trapped in the body of a developmentally disabled child. I have seen him outsmart typical children, find clever ways around rules, and masterfully find trouble every day. Like most children, he has come to feel most comfortable at home. I know this because his EI teacher once told me that he needed to learn to stand up for himself more. What?!?!?! She asked me if he got bullied a lot at home (apparently there was a little girl in his class who used to knock him down a lot). My response shocked her: "actually, Alex is the bully at home".

Alex is a sneaky bully with his sister and an all out warrior with his brothers. Upon coming home over a year ago, Alex grew fond of taking things right out of Ana's hands. Ana never complained so he only got caught sometimes. Well, once we figured out what he was doing and he realized that he would get in trouble for this his little brain started working. He decided that it would be fine to trade Ana. He would find some other random toy and hand it to Ana while he pried what he wanted from her other hand. Again, he was disciplined for this. So he moved on to an even more sophisticated trick. He will now grab the baby stroller and walk it over to Ana and motion for her to put her toy (usually a baby doll) in the stroller, acting as though he is doing her a favor by taking her baby for a walk. After she complies he saunters off with the stroller and the toy that he wanted. Alex knows he is doing wrong by taking Ana's toys, because as soon as he catches a glimpse of mommy or daddy he runs the toy back to Ana in the hopes that he can save himself from discipline.

With Trey and Luke, however, it is a different story. He knows he can't pull those tricks on them and he knows that his tiny 27lb frame can't out muscle them either. It doesn't stop him from being like a little dog bitting at their heels though. In true little brother fashion he likes to antagonize and see how far he can push them. And over time he has grown less afraid of confrontation with them. I was shocked one day when Trey and Luke were "sword fighting" to see Alex run into the middle of their duel swinging a vacuum hose at them. He was laughing and yelling as he ran straight in. I had to pull him out for fear that he was going to take somebody out. Trey and Luke were only playing and not really trying to hurt each other. Alex was not familiar with those rules, and I think he would have had them both on the ground crying with the way he was intentionally swinging that vacuum hose.

The boy is a born performer and L.O.V.E.S. the spotlight!!! He is never shy and craves attention. I'm not sure he ever met a stranger in his life, which is really frightening as a parent! But he often leaves people smiling. He is a sweetheart who loves to kiss and slobber all over us :)

Making birthday cupcakes

Birthday boy

Blowing out the candle

Opening his homemade cards from Trey

Performing with his new microphone from Nana

Happy 5th Birthday, Alex! 

We love you!

Mean Mommy!

I am pretty sure that Ana's first sentence will be, "my mommy is so mean, because she makes me jump in the bounce house, play at the park, build with blocks and do puzzles". Somebody call social services! Picture in your head, if you will, a lazy child. Before now, I pictured a pre-teen video game addicted boy (sorry for the stereotype). I figured the way to fix it would be take away the games. At that point they have to find something else to do, right? What if there is nothing to take away, because you child would rather sit and stare at walls than do anything else?

How do you conquer laziness for the health and well-being of your child? I don't know if we are right, but our answer has been to fight through the tears and the tantrums and to continually require things of Ana...no matter how much snot or how many screams she manages to conjure up. We make her complete form puzzles before lunch, pedal her trike if we are outside, climb the jungle gym at the park, jump in the bounce house on rainy days, and build with blocks if she simply cannot find something productive to do on her own. She is not the only kid we require these things of, but usually the other three don't need any prodding to play. My other kids are more likely to have tantrums when we have to leave the park, not when we pull up to it.

I wish every day wasn't a fight, but it is. I can't escape it unless I am willing to give up on her, and I am not. Every morning I wake up and think, "drill sergeant Hagler reporting for duty". Maybe one day it won't be so hard, and maybe one day she will understand that I am doing all of this for her own good, but even if that day never comes I will keep fighting the fight for her sake.

In case you think I am exaggerating, here are some pictures to prove I'm not.

I asked Ana to build with some big legos...and she screamed.

Crocodile tears because we are at the park and I won't let her stand and do nothing.

"I can't do it"...except that she can. She can climb that rock wall just as fast as the boys. She just doesn't want to.

She loves the swing, but in this picture what you can't see is her kicking her legs and crying because I am not pushing her high enough.

What is more fun than a bounce house in your very own living room? Apparently Ana thinks that sitting on her bottom is more fun. 

The beauty of living in Oregon

Strawberry Picking

Ana discovered she could eat the strawberries

And eat the strawberries, she did...along with stems, leaves, and dirt. This girl doesn't discriminate. 

We bought 16 lbs of strawberries, but I'm pretty sure we left with another 10lbs in Ana's belly.

All for nothing

It appears that my celebration over my loophole was premature. I was informed today that because the "private school" we are claiming resides in a different school district we must be serviced by that district. No big deal. Except that I call that district to inform them of our service plan and they tell me that they are not offering speech as an option to private school children this year. Instead they are offering math, reading, and writing. Again, I am told my options are to place him in school or to walk away with nothing. Feels like defeat. And it stinks!

I love loopholes!

And the winner is...mama bear! I have been back and forth with the school district lately trying desperately to get speech services for Alex next year. There is a lot of bureaucracy that gets in the way of homeschooled children getting special ed. services once they reach school age. Most parents are forced to walk away with nothing and then pay out of pocket for various therapies. Or they are persuaded to enroll their children in the school, because they are made to believe they cannot possibly provide everything their child needs at home. I have spent a lot of time researching the law (the federally mandated IDEA and also Oregon state law). This is something I would recommend to any parent with a special needs child. Whether you intend to utilize the public school, a private school, or homeschool, you need to know what your child is entitled to. There are so many gray areas in the IDEA law that every school district interprets it differently. The biggest of these gray areas is called FAPE. The law states that each child is entitled to a free and appropriate public education (FAPE). Problem: "appropriate" is not defined. I believe that a parent should be allowed to have input in what "appropriate" means. After all, who knows a child best? The biggest roadblock that I faced was that our district interpreted the law to mean that if a child has needs in more than one area (as determined by that child's educational plan - IEP) then they are obligated to meet all of those needs through enrollment in the public school. Or, the parent can waive their rights to any services and simply go it alone. However, children who are parentally placed in a private school can still get things like speech therapy through the public school. Does that make sense to anyone?

For Alex we were specifically seeking speech therapy. We were not asking for any other services. It isn't that he couldn't benefit from some occupational and/or physically therapy, but those are not things that are offered individually through the school even if he was enrolled there. Essentially, their plan was to place him in a self-contained classroom and he would get some separate speech therapy. So my question was what could they do in that classroom that I could not offer one-on-one at home with the exception of the speech? However, they still refused to see my point in favor of their interpretation of the law. So, I found a loophole instead. Because our homeschool co-op qualifies under the states definition of a "private school" Alex will be considered a parentally enrolled private school student for the next 2 years. During that time he will receive speech therapy from the public school. Once he turns 7, the law requires that he be registered as a homeschooled student, at which time any private school involvement is nullified. But, the major victory is that we got what we wanted, how we wanted it for now, and we bought ourselves 2 years to find another loophole ;)

So many people told me to "know the law" as it related to my children's education. Before this I figured I had a decent grasp. I knew about IDEA. The problem was that I knew why IDEA existed, but not all of the nuances of the actual law. My gut went after the spirit of the law. For those unfamiliar, the law came about in the '70s as a result of special needs children being turned away from public schools, hence the phrase that all children are entitled to a free and appropriate public education. Instead of the spirit of the law carrying forth it has been bound in red tape to the point that most parents (homeschooling or not) have to fight for what their child is entitled to, and there is even a market for advocates to help parents fight the battles for their child's education. Anyway, that's my rant for now ;)

IN OTHER NEWS...

Most pregnant woman have their first ultrasound around 8 weeks of pregnancy, and they leave the doctor's office with a cute little ultrasound picture of a strange looking blob that the ultrasound tech has assured them is their baby. Those pictures are amazing (I do have a few of those myself that I am rather proud of ;) But, this time around I didn't have an ultrasound until 11 weeks. Let me tell you, something amazing happens between 8 and 11 weeks...that blob becomes a baby! So, we now have adorable pictures of our baby.

This one is my favorite. It is a shot from above. You can see the baby's head and legs.

EI has ended for the little ones for the school year, so they are enjoying more time at home. And I am enjoying not having to drag all of my kids out of the house for those 2 mornings a week :)

This was my last note home for Ana for the school year. I thought it was funny :) BTW that means she went on the potty.

Co-op has ended for Trey. I know he is sad about that. We had a great last day of co-op! I went with Trey and his class to see a play. We saw A Year with Frog and Toad, and Lukey got to come too. After that we picked up A & A from the sitter and headed back to co-op for an end of the year pizza party! We got our yearbook, which was so beautifully done it made me cry (okay maybe there were some pregnancy hormones mixed in there).

We are keeping busy for the summer and I cannot believe how quickly the time is going already! We will be spending next week at VBS, which I know Trey is excited about. The kids are doing the summer reading program at the library, and Trey is also filling out his Barnes and Noble reading journal in order to earn a free book. The kids are growing so fast and saying some very surprising and silly things. Can't say we aren't blessed :)

The kids had free bowling passes from the library. Score!