The rocky roads we travel

There is typically not an easy road for the things in life that are worth doing. This is especially true in parenting. I wish there was a quick fix for temper tantrums, potty training, reading lessons, meal-time battles, lessons in sharing, and bedtime struggles. But, I have learned that anything that claims to be an easy solution tends to be false advertising. Take the 3-day potty training approach. You can spend 3 days following your child around and running them to the potty, but this does not necessarily mean that your child is potty trained after 3 days. Ask anyone who has tried it. There are still accidents, still night-time training to be done, and lots more mad dashes to the potty in hopes that you made it in time.

Last week my life was easy easier. Aside from a few appointments here and there our weeks passed much the same as one another. Lots of time at home. We woke when we were ready (well, when the kids were ready), did schoolwork on our time, played outside if it was nice, enjoyed some downtime, and in general didn’t have any pressing decisions to make. This week, however, was very different. Alex and Ana started “school” 2 days a week. They attend an early intervention program for a few hours each week. I am responsible for driving them there and picking them up, which means feeding, dressing, and loading all my kids by 8am!

All of this has brought about a lot of thought on my part. As we sat down to enroll the kids in the EI program and develop an IFSP we were greeted by several faces, one of whom was a representative from the public school system. She was there to ensure that Alex’s transition from the EI program to public school in a few months would be as seamless as possible. Public school. A few months. Suddenly decisions that we didn’t have to make right away were staring us in the face. These decisions are still up in the air (and up in prayer). Initially there was something appealing about sending Alex to school. They could provide an environment that I just could not. Maybe they could bridge the gap between where he is and where he should be. They could give him opportunities for peer interaction that I could not. His learning could be scaffolded, and he could glean information from the other children in his class.

But then my week got crazier. Trey started homeschool co-op through our church. He goes one day a week for 2 classes. He is currently participating in a health class and a Literature class. We are at the church from about 9:30am until 2pm. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect yesterday as we pulled up, but I was so blessed! At co-op I was witness to parents, moms AND dads, who wanted so badly to make sure that their children and their children’s education was a primary focus in their lives. There were moms teaching classes with infants strapped to their chests, dads who were showing up for a few hours in the middle of their work day to come teach a class, parents who have committed to their families and to one another. Parents who have decided that giving their children a Christ-centered education is their primary focus outside of their own relationship with the Lord. Moms and dads who know that while curriculum is important it will have no bearing on eternity if it excludes Christ. There were moms who were encouraging each other, moms offering advice, moms and dads holding one another accountable.

It was in the middle of this blessed day that I began to wonder, “what is the most important thing I can give my kids?”. Of course, I know the answer. So the next question becomes, “how can I give my kids Jesus in the best way possible no matter the cost to me?”. If I don’t desire public school for my other kids, why would it be okay for my special kids? Am I truly looking for the best solution or the easy road? I thought this same thing earlier in the week as I did my 8am loading to get the twins to school. I started thinking that it would be so much better if I just let them ride the bus. Then I wouldn’t have to drag everyone out. My friend assured me it was just a bus ride and it would be fine. But, it wasn’t so much the thought of them riding the bus that nagged me. It was my motivation that bothered me. It would be easier for me. Maybe it would be easier for me, but wouldn’t it be better for my kids if I dropped them off and picked them up each time? I would get to walk them in and walk them out. I would get to be the last face they see before entering the classroom and the first face that greets them outside of the classroom as school ends. It would give me an opportunity to talk with their teachers face to face, and it just might help provide a sense of security for my fragile Ana and reinforce the concept of parent/child vs. teacher/student relationships for Alex. I have committed to follow the Lord wherever He will lead me. There will be a time when rest will come (might be when I die, but even if it is I’m okay with that). Until then, I desire to seek the Lord in all I do and to work diligently at the tasks he blesses me with…even if it means taking a hard, rocky road every time.