What a "Wonderful" day!

Today was a BIG day for Wonderful Works! I had an informal meeting with Bob Foust, who is the head of the Alabama Coalition for Life. I was put in contact with him through Laurie Stroud, publisher of Birmingham Christian Family Magazine. And no, I am not name dropping to make you think I am somehow important. Laurie is an amazing woman, who was kind enough to feature our family in last years Christmas edition of BCFM. We have kept in contact with her through our adoption process. She would periodically send e-mails asking how we were doing, saying that we had been on her mind. I think the picture of Sasha got to her :) She contacted us again recently and asked if she could feature our family again, now that we were home. Of course we said yes, and I shamelessly asked if I could plug Wonderful Works. She said it could be done and asked me to call her. She put me in touch with Bob who requested a meeting with me. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't have anything to show for this ministry except a website, a video, and a vision. I wasn't sure if he was going to say, "nice idea. Good luck with it," pat me on the back and then take off, or what. Here is what actually did happen:

We chatted informally for about an hour. We talked about how we ended up where we were in life, he asked how I came to Christ, told me of his passion not just for the unborn children of this world, but for their mothers who so desperately need Christ, and then he laid it out for me. Turns out Wonderful Works is a ministry idea much bigger than I anticipated. He sees the need. He loves the idea. He asked me if we were a certified non-profit. I said no, that I didn't really see the need to go that route because I didn't see a big need for funding. His response, "believe me, I am Mr. Shoestring. But you are going to need funding! This thing is going to get away from you quick." He advised me to compile a board. A board?!?!?!?!?  I was just talking about handing out some pamphlets and sharing some coffee with a few ladies!!!  We are praying through some possibilities right now for how we will be sustainable as a non-profit. And he asked me to come and speak at a banquet being held next month for the Sav-a-Life centers of Alabama. I will be sharing our story and introducing our ministry as a resource for Sav-a-Life to use.

Hello volunteers, where are you?????

Anyone know of an attorney and/or accountant who would be willing to do some pro/bono work? Apparently becoming a non-profit takes money and professionals.
Also, really need someone who can create blog buttons for our website and/or a logo. I have the idea in my head, just need someone to bring it to life.

Okay, here are some pictures I have been dying to share. They are a little out of place in this post, but this is the mess that I am :)

This is Ana's pop-princess look

First time at the beach

At this point Ana was done!

This is their train

A dose of truth

"You guys rock!"

"You are an amazing woman!"

"You are so awesome!"

These are a few of the comments that I have recently read in light of our launch of Wonderful Works. While we very much appreciate the support, I read these words and I feel like a phony: a liar. While in Ukraine, I often asked why so many people opted for the pretty version of things for their blog posts. I determined that I would tell the truth. I wanted everyone to know what adoption was really like. However, I quickly realized that nobody wants to hear the whole truth. They don't mind if you talk about your mishaps, so long as you also talk about your abundant love and overwhelming joy for the newest members of your family. They will take the bad as long as the end of your story is the good. Some days it's hard to find the good...in yourself. 

Pride has been deeply engrained in me from early on. I was the first born, an early reader, a responsible child, and very much a people pleaser. I was praised often, and it became a part of who I was. I was always seeking more praise. I worked hard to be independent and strived for worldly successes. I would quickly sweep any mistakes under the rug and opt to forget that they too were a part of who I was. When I finally opened my heart to the One who was so diligently seeking me, I began to see my shortcomings. I could see my pride, my greed, and my selfishness. I worked on these things, but they still existed in my life at the point when we committed to adopt Sasha, and they still do. We committed to him out of obedience. Yes, we had grown to love him in our hearts, but we are not the "amazing" kind of people that we thought were called to special needs adoption. We were simply acting out of love, compassion, and an overwhelming urgency to glorify God. But then the e-mails, the phone calls, and the conversations started. People made us out to be something we are not. No matter how many times we told people that we are not special, they didn't want to hear it. For some reason, people think that we (and all of those who have adopted a special needs child) have done something that they cannot. I have tried to quell the praise from others. We have admitted to our mistakes and shortcomings in hopes that people will see that anything that has been accomplished has been the work of God alone. This goes for our adoption and Wonderful Works. Maybe we have not laid out the truth plainly enough, so here goes:

How much did your adoptions cost, and where did the money come from?

TRUTH: About $30,000, and God supplied all of it in 2 1/2 months time. We did fundraisers, but our efforts yielded a meager $3,000 or so. God did the rest. I want this to be super clear, because if there are people wanting to adopt but looking at that dollar amount and shaking their head, know that God can move all mountains.

Everyone looked so happy in your pictures from Ukraine. You must have bonded instantly with your kids.

TRUTH: We met Ana first, and when she was taken back out of the room all I could do was pray, "God, I cannot do this. If this is your will, you are going to have to do it." Ana was oblivious to everyone in the room. All she did was hit herself in the head with a toy, spin in circles, and nearly fall down. She was unresponsive as people yelled her name, and she could have cared less that we were there. Sasha was fun and friendly, but he smelled so horribly! It was hard to be around him, because he smelled as if he hadn't been bathed...ever! We were miserable at the orphanage. Sasha got our morning visitation, in truth because we wanted to get it over with. Not that we disliked him, but we felt we were always being watched, and Sasha was a mischievous child. When we started taking him outside or into the hallways to play, it was like unleashing a tiger. We actually took him back to the groupa bloody a few times (he fell down outside constantly - they put shoes on him that were too small). He refused to obey (and believe me he KNEW what he was doing), and he whined and cried like nobody I've ever heard before (very much an attention seeker). We thought we were bonding with Ana and she with us. She started coming out a little more with each visitation, but occasionally she would regress. She seemed so calm and easy going, but the truth is that she was pretty much just checked out. My heart longed for home and my boys. 

Your kids seem to have transitioned so well!

TRUTH: Ana could care less about us. We meet her needs, but she hasn't figured out how to love yet, and man does it hurt! We try to make her smile and she gets mad. We want to hold her and cuddle her, but she pushes us away. We want for her to run to us with her arms up wanting an embrace with her mommy or daddy, but she only does that for strangers. I have asked my friends not to pick her up at all anymore using some lame excuse, but the truth is that it's because it cuts like a knife into my heart every time she runs to one of them. Sasha appears to love us, but sometimes the love is not reciprocated. We desire more than anything to love each of our children in the same way, but we are not there yet. People told me that it will feel like I am babysitting for awhile. I understand what they mean, but this is worse than babysitting. When you babysit, you know the kids are not yours. I know these kids are mine, and I am glad they are mine; but I can't make myself love them like my own yet, and that kills me! They both have habits that are enough to drive me up a tree most days. Do you want to know what the gnashing of teeth sounds like? Come on over and I will give your ears a preview of what is in store for those who are not saved for eternity. I promise you we can scare some people into salvation with the sounds made by two petite little kids! But, in actuality, I don't even notice that anymore. It's like having twin 18 month olds who are new to the world. Everything is exciting or scary, stressful, or a fun new adventure. We never know what the reactions are going to be to a new situation. We just let it ride and pray for the best. Sometimes I wonder if we have truly given our kids a better life than they had before. 

I don't know how you have adjusted so well going from 2 kids to 4.

TRUTH: We haven't. We rely on God for everything. And in the times when we try to do things ourselves, failure is inevitable. I feel like I spend entire days screaming and disciplining. God has really convicted me as I continually think of the scripture that says,

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Matthew 7: 3-5)

There is a GIGANTIC plank in my eye! I have issues that I never knew I had until our sweet littles came home. I struggle with anger management issues. I taught my kids the verse that says, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." I often have to admit my foolishness to my children. 

How are Trey and Luke adjusting?

TRUTH: You know that whole "childlike faith" thing? There is a reason for it. When you have childlike faith, you can love freely. Our boys have shown us more about unconditional love than we could have hoped to teach them. We struggle, and in those moments when we just can't find the love, we often look over and find Trey, our 5 year old, cuddling his sister and Luke, laughing hysterically, teaching Sasha how to get into even more trouble than he manages to find on his own...not even noticing that they are different, and behaving as if Ana and Sasha have always been a part of our family. Trey tells us all the time that he wants us to adopt again. And despite all of the struggles, we probably will. God is shaping us and molding us through this experience in true potter form. 

How can you raise 4 kids (2 who are new to your family) and start a ministry?

TRUTH: We can't. We also couldn't adopt a child with Down syndrome and certainly not 2. 

"It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. The life I live in this body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20) 

"He must become greater; I must become less" (John 3:30) 

We believe this ministry was a call of God. We are not equipped for it, but He is. 

BOTTOM LINE TRUTH: We are sinners who struggle every day. We accomplish nothing on our own strength. We simply desire to glorify God through our adoration, our faith, and our actions. God found us, and by His grace alone we stand. 

Wonderful Works

When we began our adoption journey, we knew it would change us. We didn't know just how much or in what ways. We are still discovering that.

I have posted before about how as much as I wanted to be "done" doing the difficult things, I knew that with eyes wide open we had so much more ahead of us. Once you know, you cannot unknow.

We came home from Ukraine longing for a Sunday in church and a return to our new "normal". Instead what we got was a sermon on abortion from our pastor, David Platt. I guess we should know by now that his sermons will force anyone out of comfort and steer you as far away from "normal" as possible. You can view the sermon here. I sat in that worship gathering and I cried. I listened to the stories and the would-be fate of my own children. I listened to the statistics, and I saw the faces of my children, all of whom are here by God's grace alone.

That sermon moved us to act on behalf of those who cannot stand, speak, or cry out for themselves: the children unborn, especially those who have so much to teach us but are frequently terminated for their specialness. Open your eyes and your heart to see them the way that their Creator sees them: as His Wonderful Works




http://wonderful-works.weebly.com

Luke's first day of school...minus the pictures :(

My baby started school today! Luke goes to the same school as Trey, but 2 days a week instead of 5. So today was his first day. I asked him this morning what he thought he would do in school today. He said, "play with the kitchen and get a tattoo!" Wow!!! Guess we better watch out for those teen years! I told him he probably wouldn't get a tattoo, but maybe if he was good he would get a stamp on his hand. We also had a long discussion about how he should tell his teachers if he had to go potty. I was so worried he would take after Trey and be too shy to speak up when he had a need.

As we drove through the car line, Luke kept looking out the window for his teachers. He was asking, "where's Ms. Courtney? Where's Ms. Shari?" When a teacher other than his own came to take him out of the car, he panicked and tried to climb in the front seat. Upon reassuring him that he would be taken to his classroom and his teachers, he reluctantly got out of the car. When I picked him up his teacher put him in the car, and she said, "he was good, but he was so quiet." She also let me know that he went the entire half-day without going potty! Luke said, "I didn't get a stamp, and I didn't go potty at school". Apparently that was all that mattered to him. And yes, he really had to go by the time we got home.

There are no pictures of Luke's first day, because my camera took the pictures but apparently didn't save them anywhere because of a low battery, which I didn't find out until I went to download pictures that didn't exist anywhere!!!! So frustrating!!!

Anyway, here are some other random shots of the kids.

Luke modeling his new Cars shoes

Spider-man Trey

This is how we frequently find these two...reading their Bibles.

These pictures represent something amazing...Ana playing! I know this seems crazy, but she has never played with toys the right way. She mostly wanders around the house and shakes or throws things. But on this day, She walked over to the couch, picked up the kids toy phone and started talking on it. We were shocked. After playing with the phone, she grabbed her baby and started making her jump. She said, "ju," "ju".

Bounce house fun

This is her model face

The twinsies love to walk around holding hands

playing in the cupboard

Superman goes to Kindergarten

I look back to the day Trey was born and I remember how sure I was that this day was never going to come. It seemed to be the distant future, and I guess it was back then. But isn't it funny how quickly the "distant future" creeps up on you?  Even though it feels like he is still my baby, I watch Trey grow and change daily. He is a consummate caretaker. He is always offering to "watch the kids" while I do something. He loves to help get everyone ready to go out (in case you are wondering, it is not easy getting 4 kids 5 and under out the door...I'm going to love trying to do it 5 days a week ;).

For the last several weeks Trey has been talking non-stop about Kindergarten. He wanted to know when he was going to start, who his teacher would be, what time I would pick him up, who would be in his class, and on and on. He was really excited for this. And today was the day! He woke up before his alarm (big surprise) and was extra cooperative as I tried to get everyone fed, dressed, groomed, and into the car on time. We actually made it a few minutes early and sat in the car line waiting for the teachers to come get the kids. While he waited, Trey talked to Grandma on the phone, excitedly telling her what he thought his day would be like.

He had a great day and told me all the nuances of being a kindergartner ("our hooks are at the end of the hall past all the other kids'," "we eat snack in a different part of the school," "we have to stay longer than the other kids, because we work harder"). He has gone to the same school since he was 2, but kindergarten is full of new adventures for him, and I am so glad that he is excited about it...even if it means the process of letting go has begun.

It's coming...

You ask God to break your heart for what breaks His...are you ready?

5 days until the launch.

Psalm 139

Sasha's heart

Today, Sasha had his heart cath done. The point was to check the pressure levels in his heart and lungs to be sure that open-heart surgery was a viable option for him. The prognosis is good! His pressure levels are slightly elevated, but nothing out of the realm of what the cardiologist expected to see. We checked in at 6:30am, he was in the cath lab by 8am, out before 10, and we were home just after 5pm. He has a large bruise and a puncture wound on his inner thigh where they used a vein to access his heart. Besides that and a tiny remnant from an IV in his hand, he is pretty much back to normal already. We have already been contacted by the surgeon who will complete his open-heart surgery. We are looking at scheduling it sometime in the next 3 weeks. It will require about a week in the hospital and a 6-week post-surgery recovery period. Prayers for our ability to keep this wild-man under wraps for 6 weeks would be appreciated!

"Hello? Mickey Mouse, is that you?"

"Maybe if I hide in the wardrobe they won't find me."

"Awww nuts!"

Post surgery grogginess

Sending lots of love and many thanks for all of the prayers for Sasha. He is a lucky boy to have so many who love him ;)

"God doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called."

No doubt you have heard this cute little mantra before. Well, what do you think? I was having a discussion the other day with my friend and she said that she just didn't believe it. She didn't believe that everyone struggled as much as a parent as she does. She felt as though somehow others had it more "together" than she did. I did manage to control my hysterical laughter before we dug in to our conversation. But, I understand her feelings. Somedays you just don't feel good enough. Guess what? YOU'RE NOT!!!  Feel better now? Yeah, I thought not. But this is about truth. Truth is, you, me, and everyone else are in need of the Savior. If we were good enough, we wouldn't need Him.

Most days I feel like Gideon. The Holy Spirit is talking to me and I'm looking over my shoulder saying, "who me? I think you made a mistake". 

I had another friend tell me recently that, "it's fun to see what a chilled out person having 4 kids has made [me]". I wanted to point to the dark circles under my eyes and say, "it's called exhausted," but I didn't have the energy. But the reality is that my new "chilled out" personality is not because I am chilled out, not because I'm tired (okay maybe a little), but it's mostly because I'm not trying to tackle my life. What is the point? So many people claim to have surrendered their lives to Christ, but they fail to put it all on the table. They continue to hold tightly to their semblance of control. I have no control over my life. I admit it. And I am proud of it! 

I am a girl who in the past said, "I think it's great that people adopt children with special needs, but I couldn't do it." And God is laughing. I can see my life so clearly right now. I have peace in a way that I never dreamed possible. This is only the beginning of what God has for us. I really hope all of you will continue to follow along to see what the future holds. And be watching for my Wonderful Works post coming soon.

Love your heart!

Let me share with you the heart of my first born.

My mom has been in town for a few days now, and leading up to her visit Trey wanted to call her every day! He likes to make plans with our visitors before they come. This time though, none of his plans revolved around himself. They were all about me! I would overhear him on the phone saying things like, "let's lock her in her room, and you and me will watch the kids." or "I know! We can give her massages and make her take a bath." You can't imagine how good it feels to hear your 5 year old say those kinds of things. He not only said them, but then when Grandma came, he did them. The day she got here he was insistent that I spend the day in my room. He made me cookies, massaged my feet, brought me lunch in bed, helped take care of his brothers and sister, and has continually told me, "go take a nap, mom. Me and Grandma got it." I am so proud of his heart. I make no claims that we never suffer any of the usual 5 year-old drama. And there are even times when I get a sick-to-my-stomach feeling over his behavior. But, I see where his heart desires to be, and for that I am thankful.

Just some more funny stories:

Luke: "mom, when we get home can I have my cookies?"
Me: "no, when we get home it is nap time. But, after nap you can have some."
Luke: (angrily) "I'm gonna throw these in your face!"
Me: "Luke, it is not nice to talk that way. Remember that you should treat people how you want to be treated. You can hurt people with your words."
Luke: (as calm as ever) "Oh. Sorry, mom."


He went from extreme rage to super calm in 2 seconds. It was so strange!

Grandma: (to Trey)" We should try to make this recipe. Oh wait, you can't have peanuts."
Luke: "Grandma, we don't say peanuts!" 


Can you guess which word he thought she was saying? He calls it "peanuts" for some reason :)

Gary: (to Luke) "You have such nice hair. Someday you'll be bald like daddy."
Trey: "Yeah, and like Sasha."


I don't think my kids understand that he actually has hair it's just VERY light.


The joys of having kids far outweigh the struggles!