My "Come to Jesus" Moment

I spent a lot of time last night crying at the thought of leaving my boys for such a long, unknown amount of time. My eyes are pretty swollen today :) It seems like that would be a crappy way to spend a night, but in those dark moments late at night, something wonderful happened. I started really contemplating this journey. If we back up less than a year, I can assure you this is not what I pictured for my life. Please understand that I am not complaining. But when my sister-in-law told me that her friends were adopting a little boy from Ukraine with DS, my thought was, "wow, that's great! That's not for me, but that's great." But then God asked us to adopt that very same little boy. And then a little girl. I started to think about everything I would have missed out on if we had not answered the call. I have friends now that I never would have met otherwise: friends who will type me a novel on their phone just because they know what I'm going through and what I need. There are people on their knees in prayer for our family on a daily basis. I have witnessed the power of God to provide for His purpose through the most unlikely of circumstances. I have been awakened to a purpose, and my eyes have been opened to see the heart of Jesus.

My life is not my own. I have offered it freely to the one I love. And I trust that He loves me more than I can ever know in this life. He is doing something beautiful in our lives, and I don't want to miss it. Am I scared. No. Terrified, might be a better word :) The fear is human, but the peace is spiritual. I desire to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. And I know there is a cost to following Him. He desires everything.

HE IS MY GOD AND I LONG TO SERVE HIM OUT OF MY LOVE FOR HIM!!!