There is a war being waged in my mind right now. I wonder...just how tightly am I holding onto my life? My family? If God asked me to jump off a cliff, would I trust him to catch me? I would like to answer yes, but is that the truth? I am being painfully honest right now. The Bible is riddled with people who trusted God in a way that I dream I would (Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Daniel, just to name a few). What if God asked me to do something that required great sacrifices from our whole family?
Am I a person who claims the grace and beauty of the Gospel for myself, but ignores the whole "cross-bearing, die-to-yourself" thing? Have I added "The American Dream" to the Gospel even after God says specifically not to add to His word?
How about you? Am I alone?
***Just want to clarify, this is not about Sasha! I have NO doubts about him being our child.***
2 comments:
No, you are not alone! I think the evil one puts these doubts into our head to discourage us from what we feel called to do. You ARE sacrificing much more than most people would already! You felt called to do something, and then you did it! I don't know you, but saw your blog on another blog - I am very inspired by your story.
Praying for you. I heard about your story and had to seek you out. Thank you for being a voice for the orphans! I appreciate your honesty in this post. I ask myself the same questions. Could I or would I become a martyr for Christ. Would I truly...If the time came.
Anyhow, I would really like to help out in anyway that I can.
Here lately I have been reminded that God is the potter and we are the clay. Reading your post I can see how he is molding you through this faith journey that you have embarked on. God bless you!
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