Oh no, it's the...

Two-headed monster!

This one's for you, Aunt Melina ;)

Submitted

I have had some time to reflect on our adoption journey, lately. I sent this e-mail out on July 2, 2010:

Hey everyone, I know that your inbox gets flooded with forwards and random things you don't care about, but please take a moment to help this little boy. I'm not asking you to give money or donate your time, I'm asking you to forward this to those you know in hopes that we can find a family for little Sasha. Sasha is a nearly 3 year old little boy living in an orphanage in [Eastern Europe]. He had a prospective forever family here in the states, however due to a battle with cancer, the family is no longer able to adopt him. The urgency of the situation is this: Sasha has down syndrome, and in [Eastern Europe], children with disabilities such as this get plucked from the orphanage and transfered into an institution at a young age (I think 5) where they are basically left to die. The family who was longing for him is heartbroken for him. More than anything, they want to find a family to love him. I have attached a picture of him (don't know how blurry it is...I snatched it from facebook). Also, here is a link to follow if you want to find out more about this little boy (or if you want to donate to his grant fund to financially help the family who does adopt him). More than all of this, I am asking you to pray for Sasha. I have looked at these pictures. I have cried for this child. I have prayed for him and will continue to do so. This is breaking my heart right now. Please, now that you know, do something. I know I can count on all of you. Thank you. And today, our dossier was submitted to his country! We should have our travel dates in approximately 2 weeks! What an amazing journey.

Lauren and a tough decision

The little girl you see is Lauren. I love Lauren! I want to hold her, hug her, kiss her, and tell her that she is loved. Gary and I have struggled in the last few days with whether or not to bring Lauren home with Sasha. I cannot forget her face. I cry and I pray for Lauren.

Lauren is HIV+.

That, however, was not the issue for us. Please do not get me wrong, HIV is a big deal. I know many of you are appalled that we would even consider this, I mean we have other children to think about. The reality is that HIV is not as scary as it used to be. We have researched it, and spoken to medical professionals. Many children born with HIV lead normal lives and live into their 60's. There is amazing anti-retroviral medications out there that make it so that most of the people who have HIV have levels that are completely undetectable. And there has NEVER been a case of HIV being transfered to another person in a normal family setting. I would encourage you to learn more about HIV/AIDS at projecthopeful.org.

I have to be honest, if God asked us to do this, we wouldn't blink twice. We would risk our relationships with all of you and do just what he asked. I would be willing to be that woman. The crazy one, the one with the children nobody wants their kids to be around for fear of "catching something". In the future, we might adopt an HIV+ child...if this is what God has for us. Right now, we had to be honest with ourselves and realize that God is asking us to focus on our other 3 children right now. That was what stopped us. We are not afraid that it would endanger our children. We are not concerned about the cost, the medical treatment, etc. We were concerned about our time. We need time to connect with Sasha and adjust to the changing dynamic of our family.

I am asking all of you to please pray for Lauren, and for her family. She will always have a piece of my heart...the little girl who was almost ours.

You can find more info about Lauren here.

Are you really pro-life?

Sounds like a silly question, right? But seriously, think about it. Melanie Hollis, who I have blogged about before, asked this question in a recent post. Melanie is the mother of 5 beautiful children, 2 of them have DS (1 bio, 1 adopted) and another internationally adopted daughter has FAS. Melanie challenges her readers by asking them, are you "pro-life" or "pro-birth" ?

Think about your answer...carefully.

We wave our christian pro-life banners, telling young mothers that regardless of their circumstances their baby is a miracle from God and deserves a chance at life.

Now, I am going to challenge you. What have you done to save that life? I don't just mean, what have you done to make sure that baby is born and not aborted. I don't mean, how much money have you given to "sav-a-life" etc. Please understand that making sure these babies are not murdered IS the first step, and organizations like sav-a-life are awesome! But once they are born, what have you done to ensure they have a life and an eternity in heaven? Not a string of days being bounced from place to place, not a future behind bars, not a list of the many schools they have attended and the countless houses they have "visited", not a beginning in an orphanage or an ending wondering if anyone ever really loved them.

This is not a post for someone else. It is a post for you. For me. There are countless children who have been born under our Pro-life banner who are rotting away emotionally, physically, and eternally. They are crowding our prisons, our detention centers, flooding our "system". If you read this, you live comfortably. Is it really fair for you to rally to ensure that these babies are born and then sit back while they suffer in the life that you begged for them? God knows you know.

So, are you pro-life or pro-birth?

There are so many ways to get involved: adopt, foster, mentor, tutor, be a role model and find a way to share God's love and the gift of Jesus.

To answer your questions...

I have been asked many times about Sasha: what size clothes does he wear? Where is he at developmentally? What types of health conditions does he have? The questions go on, but the answer is always the same: I don't know.

I want to begin by stating that we have more information than many families receive. As you have seen, we have several pictures of him, we even have video clips. Most families get one picture (usually not even a recent one), and a few sentences about their child. Why? Well, we only get what the country and the orphanages will give us. Our adoption is independent, which means we don't have an agency. Not many countries allow for this, but it saves an amazing amount of money. It also means that we cannot use our non-existent agency to get more information about Sasha (if they even could).

I understand that some of you are calling us crazy. Maybe thinking that we have glamorized special needs adoption. I'm sure you think that we have only thought about "the good parts". Let me tell you a few things about DS kids:

• They are at a higher risk for developing lukemia (the sweet little boy in the pic from our EE feast is burdened with this horrible cancer).
• Many of them are born with congenital heart defects.
• Usually, they have vision problems.
• 50-60% of DS children have some degree of hearing loss.
• Thyroid disorders are very common among people with DS.
• They have a higher risk of developing Celiac disease.
• The list goes on...

Let me tell you a few things about international adoption:*

• It costs a ton (as you have seen)!
• It is stressful.
• It entails leaving our children (who we have never left for more than 24 hours) for weeks at a time...MORE THAN ONCE!
• It means going to a country where you know nobody, don't speak the language or understand the customs, AND going through their court system.

Oh, the glamor!

The truth is that none of this matters. NONE OF IT!!!! If we went to Eastern Europe, and sat down with the doctor and heard Sasha's medical history, and if it included all of these things, it still wouldn't matter. I'm not pretending that life is not going to be challenging, I have simply learned a major life lesson:

The LORD will call you, the Holy Spirit will guide you, and the grace of Jesus will pick you up when you stumble (and you will :)

"A peace that transcends understanding"

We KNOW that peace.

*Let me also note: even though I complain about the process, we have been incredibly blessed up to this point. We have not struggled near as much as most families.

Delivered!

According to UPS, our dossier has been delivered!

Something of his own

Aunt Melina and Uncle Scott gave Luke (my little stuffed-animal-aholic) a Build-a-Bear gift card for his birthday. We had plenty of money left on the cards, so we let the boys build a bear for their new brother.

Sasha, this little bear is waiting for you, and he is ALL YOURS!!!!

What a Month!

So far, February is shaping up to be interesting to say the least. Here are just a few of our adventures from the month:

I called a certain state (not the one I live in), and asked about the status of a document that I sent them to apostille. They received the document on the 18th of January (I know because I tracked it). As of February 1st, they were still working on documents received on the 6th of January! Meanwhile my documents from the state of Alabama were turned around to me in 1 day!!! So, I was waiting for one piece of paper to mail the dossier. How frustrating! Super huge thanks to my mom and my in-laws, not to mention Pam from our mortgage company. Pam had the foresight to give us two originals of the document. I overnighted the second one to my in-law's house, where my mom picked it up and drove it to the capital to have it apostilled and then overnighted it back to me. What a mom!

Lukey had surgery to remove what we thought was a cyst on the side of his face. It turned out not to be, but it was sent off to the lab for a biopsy. He did great! He never cried while I was around. He says he cried when they took him back, but there was no visible evidence of that. By the afternoon he was back to normal.

A few hours post-surgery

I had some tooth pain, and went to the dentist. Turns out one of my fillings is separating from my tooth. I have to have a crown put on. And on Friday I had a root canal...super fun!

A few hours after my root canal we went to visit Aunt Melina and Uncle Scott down in Florida. We had so much fun! Aunt Melina and Uncle Scott took Trey and Luke to the AF Armament Museum so we could have a date. Gary and I drove all the way to a dive bar called the Red Bar in Grayton Beach. We love their seafood and key lime pie, unfortunately we were too stuffed for pie. Trey had a blast at the beach (even though it wasn't all that warm). Luke loved saying, "Uncle Scott" over and over again (we are still hearing that randomly throughout the day), and Aunt Melina let him use a little stuffed giraffe that he named Michael Hayhay. He woke up this morning asking for Michael Hayhay :) Thanks, guys for a super fun weekend getaway (and for taking us to yummy Thai Town...I'm dreaming about the next time I get to eat that spicy, delicious meal :)

AND...

...We Mailed our Dossier!

It should be in Sasha's country on the 9th!!!! It will take about a week to translate, and submission days are Thursdays, so with lots of prayers we should be submitted on the 17th!

The dossier has been checked, double-checked, prayed over (twice) and kissed good-bye...literally :)

This is what a dossier looks like...a monster stack of papers that took blood, sweat, and tears to acquire (so maybe not blood, but definitely sweat and tears).

Oh, happy day!!!!

Ready to go!

Yes, kissing it is dorky, but you really have no idea what went into this (unless you have done it before).

For those of you who pray, we would be especially grateful for prayers that:

1. The dossier gets to where it needs to go...fast!

2. The translation and submittal process is quick and seamless.

3. The dossier is favorably received by the government.

4. We have not overlooked anything, and there will not need to be any changes, addendums, or further paperwork for us to complete before our travel.